well well..welcome to the newest reality teevee..it features our star booneybee as he sought to find his way back home frm d suburbs of choa chu kang to sembawang on a train with a mystery guest..(well not one but quite a trainful of them..)

below is d narration of mr booney after he manage to get of d train at his destination..d reward, FRESH AIR..tink its funny? read on..

"wa lao d producers ask me to go into d train wif a mystery guest sia..dunnoe who it was but anyway i went to d last cabin n at down on d orange seat..shit i shud have known better..as i stepped into d cabin..i sensed something amiss..there were only like 10 "contestants" including me in d cabin..i tot "how come sia shud be filled with more ppl rite??"..nvm..so i jus sat down but wad greeted me was out of wad i ever imagined..i was beginning to rest my head on d glass behind me when there it came..one of d mystery guest (i dunnoe who la) decided to release his poisonous fumes frm his athlete's foot..wa lao eh~!! super disgusting n gross and sick man..here i m so tired tryin to rest and there d poisonous fumes attacked me..haiz..thoughout d train journey..felt like puking..blech~!!.. d smell was like salted fish + elephant dung + athelete's feet + dead rat + rotten eggs"

"i looked around..tryin to catch d culprit..but i cunt c anyone capable of doing it other than d uncle next to me..he was wearing sandals..those old old dirty dirty de..yux..it mus be him lor..he was crosing his legs towards me somemore..gimme a break(or rather fresh air)..even though he was 3 seats away me, d smell was jus repulsive..PUI~!!!..lady to my right tried to cover her nose wif her hands n i giggled hahaha..d rules state that u cannot attempt to cover ur nose wif ur hnds in order to win..being d crazy m..i decided to tolerate awhile n c how it goes..wtf..it got worse..more worse..i begin to squirm uncomfortably in my seat..tryin to conserve every gram of O2 i have left in my lungs..when i ran out of O2, i wud breathe slowly..hoping to avoid d poisonous fumes..unfortunately, i did not..yucks~!!!"

"i tot of using my mouth to breathe as this wud eliminate d smell..but i did not for fear of my lungs rottin..haha~!! thx uncle for subjecting me to this torture..d train passed 2 stations n i really cudnt tahan liao..i tot of alightin and waitin for the next train..but that is time wasting sia..
stupid..coz of him i muz alight?? y not he alight..basket..make me suffer..in d end i cud not substain my "take small breaths at a time" solution n eventually i succumbed to act like jay chou..put my hands below my nose n above my mouth, form a "7" wif my thumb n forefinger n pretend to act handsome..tt worked~!!..yay~!!..of ocz d fumes still got me but it was better than when i 1st board d train..phew..after wad seem like 30 sumers and autumns, i arrived at sembawang~!!.."

i was lucky to survive d short journey..my reward of fresh air was justified for i had tahan d smelly feet..haha..phew..feels good to be able to enjoy fresh air right..cherish it..for if u got into "my reality show"..u will really suffer..i omoz died in d train mind u..as for d other "contestants", i tink all died due to mushrooms growing on their body after prolonged exposure to d fumes..holy cow m i lucky to be alive or wad?? FRESH AIR for christmas gift?" you decide.. :)..

P.S = > For those who have been in d same situation if me, do let me know how u dealt wif it.. ur response wud be helpful to millions of train commuter around d world..thank you.. :)..

I came, I saw, I conquered..
12/16/2005 09:33:00 PM